Could this be??????

The past few weeks have been hard, started with my injury at work, I've been off work for the past 6 weeks and during that time my aunt has been very ill. She lost her battle yesterday and tomorrow is the anniversary of my grandmothers death, 22 years. Today as I am thinking of all that is going on my phone rings, it is my adoption agency! They wanted to know if it was ok for them to show my profile to birth parents of a baby girl that was born 10/10/11. So know it is another waiting game. So in the mist of the sadness, a ray of sunshine maybe trying to shine it's light upon me. I am trying very hard to remain calm, not get my hopes up, to stay grounded so to speak. I have an awesome group of friends and family praying not only for me but for the baby and for the birth parents. As hard as it is for me to sit and wait it is worse for the birth parents. I can't begin to imagine what it is they are going thru right now.Dear Father in Heaven, my prayer is for the peace of mind, heart and soul for the birth parents of this baby. May they feel Your loving arms around them, may they know peace like they have never felt before. Lord give them the guidance they need to make the choice they have facing them. Lord keep your arms around that  baby girl who's future only You know at this time. I want to thank you Father for my blessings to come, be it now or in days to come. You are in total control of everything. These things I ask in your most holy name, Amen.

too long

I know it has been almost 2 months since my last post. Nothing really has changed in the adoption process, but God has been working on me. He has put me in a place where I have to be still and just listen. at the same time satan is charging HARD. My past has come to visit my present. Not sure what it all means but I know God is in control. I have met with a lawyer a couple weeks ago about private adoption, nothing has come of that as of yet. I have also got in touch with a couple more agencies. But on the up side, the nursery is almost done. just a few more things to do and it will be already for Miss Rama Grace!!!

Praising God!!

Only moments after my last post, God has blessed me with 3 or 4 fundraisers, a dozen or so people ordering Tee shirts etc, See that is what FAITH can do!!!

Kutless - What Faith Can Do

Faith of a Mustard seed

It has been a long time since I have blogged.I must confess that since my "run in" with the lady at work my flesh has risen up in me and I have not had the faith that God has called me to have in Him or in my self. For that I have ask for forgiveness, pulled my self out of my little (or big) pitty party that I have been having.
  I have been praying for a freshness with my adoption but being the human that I am I've not been a patient Christian. Lord forgive me for my faults and my flesh!
  Tonight God give me the freshness I had been searching for. Thank you Lord for placing the people in my life that I need just when I need them!! I trust in Jesus my blessed redeemer!! I started looking at what the Bible tells us about Faith and within just a few seconds God gave me the following:
 2 Chronicles 20:20 Jehoshaphat stood and said " Listen to me Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in His prophets and you will be successful"
  We are told in Isaiah 7:9 "if you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all" Wow so few words but such a powerful meaning!
   Then in the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:7-8 Jesus tells us " Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened" then again in Matthew 15:28 Jesus answered "Woman you have great faith! Your request has been granted" then he daughter was healed from that very hour.
  How can I or anyone who reads just these few verses in the Bible doubt? Yes we are but human but we are made in His image! We all have a choice to either believe in Him or not to believe in His word and works or not. For me it is an easy choice, even tho I don't always make it easy, I chose to follow my Jesus. He has never left my side, even tho I have strayed from Him at times in life. I know He has Rama Grace in His arms just waiting for the perfect time to give her to me. Lord forgive me for my short comings, I know that you have blessed me with the honor of raising Your daughter here on earth and when it is time in Your time I will have her in my arms. Lord I want to thank you for the money you are going to provide for me to help bring her home. Thank you for loving me even when I am not loveable, thank you for all that you have done, are doing and are going to do. I trust you Lord Jesus help me have the patients to just be, to be still and just be what you want me to be when you want me to be. I love you JESUS!!!

Rollar Coaster ride part 2

Today without a doubt has been the hardest day I have had in my journey. I think I have heard the cruelest words out of another persons mouth that could be spoken. I thank God I was in a position that He kept His hand over my mouth! Today also made me question why things happen the way they do. Why is it someone who is strung out on drugs is carrying her 4th child, that she doesn't want and refers to her child as "that thing" or 'that beast in my belly" and still hasn't turned 30 blessed with the gift of life? When she turned to me and ask where she "could get rid of it" I tried to comfort her while she lay there crying, yelling and cussing. I told her not to make fast decisions that she should consider all options. She then turned to me and stated " I can't carry it and give it to some stupid b**** that can't have kids!" at that point I wanted to forget that I am a Christian and say and do things to that woman !! But as always God was and is in control. I know that there is a reason I had to go through this today and maybe one day I will understand why. But for now all I can do is as for forgiveness for the thoughts I had about that woman, and to pray for her and her unborn child and for the children she has at home. I pray that no adoptive mother ever has to hear such vile and evil words spoken to her. Tomorrow will be better!

Rollor Coaster rides............

As many of you know, I thought that I had found my forever daughter, on Thursday I found out that no. that was not my daughter. But God's grace has yet again covered me! I can't say I wasn't hurt or disappointed, I was. God's love and peace swept over me like never before. Thank God I wasn't alone, I happen to be at my parents house for a surprise dinner for my aunts birthday. He has such a loving way of protecting us. Have I give up or am I rethinking His promise to me? NO!! He told me that I have a daughter and when it is time for me to meet her then He will provide the way. I am but flesh and have my weak moments but when I am weak He is strong.
  My adoption verse is John11:40 " If you believe, you will see the glory of God" but if you read the entire chapter it talks about Lazarus raising from the dead. Jesus shows us that what we thought of as dead He can give life too. I had long ago thought that the thought of me being a mother was dead, but Jesus breathed life into me and reminded me of His promise to give us our hearts desire. The Bible also tells us that "we have not because we ask not" and yes we ask and if we don't get our answer right then we think that God has not heard our prayer or that it is not His will, but in John 4 when Jesus heals the son of an official it didn't happen all at once, it took time for the mans son to get well. We just have to believe. Again it is faith that carries us. Without faith what do we have? The lies of satan? The nay sayers of the world?Where will that get us? No where! So many times we miss our blessings on our way to our miracles! (thanks 4R for that word)  So many of us miss the blessings ( I know I have done that) when we look to the side or behind us instead of keeping our eye on the prize, all that Jesus wants us to have. If we just believe in what He tells us and trust in Him then everything will fall in place in His time not ours. God knows what is best for us WHEN it is best for us. Just because WE think it is best for our prayers to be answered NOW, God is in control! I have said more than once thru the years that " I don't want to be 40 and starting my family" and I sure didn't think I would be doing alone but God had other plans. Here I am only a few months from 40 and I'm single and look where God has brought me too, not to mention where He has brought me FROM! Is this going to be easy? NO! Is it going to be without disappointment? NO! But you have to go thru some tests to get a testimony(again thanks 4R!) and go thru a mess to get a message but OH what a sweet sweet reward is waiting on us all!!!! Love and blessings to all!!!

Fundraising Items here!!!

Pocket notebooks with Pens are $4.00, will be taking orders on T-shirts soon ( will have colors for T-shirts listed) Love and Blessings to you all!!

John 11:40

The past couple have days have been different. I can't explain it. I know God is in control no matter what, but the past couple days I have been a little down. I know my profile and all the paper work will be in Utah on 7-5-11 and that everything could really start moving ( not that it hasn't up to this point) I guess satan is really trying to get to me. I just keep repeating John 11:40. I believe in the glory of God and I see it daily. I am of flesh I have my faults but God loves me just the same, faults and all! I am so thankful for that. I have all the support that one person can ask for. I guess I'm overwhelmed by all of the support not just from family but from friends as well. Everyone tells me that they think I will make a great mom, that just melts my heart. I guess that what I am feeling is part of the roller coaster ride. God has provided me with an amazing support system of adoptive mothers that I can talk to at anytime and for that too I am thankful. I am just so excited about being a mother I just want her to hurry up and get here. I know all things happen on Gods time and not Gina's time, that is one of my toughest battles.
This blog is not only for my friends and family to be kept up to date on what is going on but it for Rama Grace as well. So one day she will be able to pull this up and see just how much she is loved and wanted. To let her know what all it has taken to get her here.
  I find that my prayers are more for her birth parents. I can't begin to even think of the courage that it is taking for them to give their child to another to raise. I'm thankful that they have chose life and to help find her a loving home and to bless me by fulfilling a life long dream of mine. To be a mother. I will never be able to put into words just what that means to me. I don't know of anyone who can.
    Please keep all of us in prayer daily and to continue pray after she is home not only for she and I but for the birth parents as well.

Profile Posted

I've just posted my profile on here to view click on the image, then you can enlarge the image to read the profile, feel free to comment on any or all of the post. Thanks again for all the love, support and prayers!

Profile is COMPLETE!!!!

Today has been a HUGE day!! I have put together all the copies of the profile that my agency wanted, completed the paper work that they ask for and mailed them!!! I have been a wreck all day! Praise God that He is in control of this and not me!!

You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me! I sing for joy because of what you have done.

~ Psalm 92:4, NLT

One step closer................

My profile is complete !!! Now to have copies made and sent to the adoption agency then on to Florida!!! God is GREAT!!

    I am amazed at the number of people who support me in this journey, people just keep coming up to me and handing me baby items for me to use with Rama Grace, I swear it is the cutest stuff! Never in a million years did I ever expect to be so blessed by so many people!! I just want to say thanks for all the love, support and gifts !

I'm not looking at the nails anymore

Sitting in church this morning I couldn't help but think how many times I allowed satan to dampen my day. Instead of keeping my eye on the prize(Jesus & His blessings) I listened to satan telling me I can't raise a child on my own, what are ya going to say when she asks " who is my daddy? why don't I have a daddy? all the bad that he could fill my head with. Me being flesh allowed that to happen for brief periods this week. Lord forgive me for being weak and not 100% trusting in You the way You have grown me up to do.I don't have the answers to those questions and that is ok, God has those answers and He will give them to me when it is time. Instead of  looking at what is causing my pain I will keep my eyes on my Lord, my love and my joy.

 I know that God has brought me this far and He will not leave me or forsake me. I know He has plans for me ( Jeremiah .29:11) and that He will provide what I need when I need it. I've told many people during this process that my faith has grown so much and that no matter what I give ALL praise to Him no matter what tomorrow brings! Please do not think I am doubting what God has done, is doing and IS going to do in my life or with  my adoption..I know that He is bringing Rama Grace home!!!

    I have several adoptive parents tell me that I will have good days and bad days during this process and a lot of stress, I give God praise that until this week that has not been an issue. I can say that stress has not  been increased at all. And the "bad" days this week haven't been as bad as they could be. I'm just confessing to God and to you all that I am weak I need prayer to help me keep my eyes and ears only on God, no one else. Yeah I've had a couple people make comments like" Well you won't be like a REAL mom" but you know that wasn't meant to hurt me it was said because that person really don't understand adoption. The good days and the support of family and friends far out weigh the bad. By God's grace my daughter will be here in His time not mine, I just have to continue to pray, stay in the Word and surround my self with the people who love God and who love me!

Items to sell

Just placed an order for my first fundraising item, it is to be here by July 11, will post pictures then. Hope everyone in having a blessed day!!!

New Beginnings............

   Today I was honored with being able to share in the joy of preparing for yet another wedding. This one is different, this wedding is for two of my "kids". I have watched them grow up, fall in love and now they are getting married, I could almost cry just thinking about it. The fact that they have ask me to be apart of their special day blesses my heart more than words can express. I remember the day that Beth told me she liked Wes, we were at a cook out at the Youth Pastors house. We, the girls, sitting on the back porch watching the guys play volleyball. Seems just like yesterday! Tonight as we were getting the decorations together we took a trip down memory lane, got the giggles and just had a great time. It made me think of how much fun it is going to be to do all this with Rama Grace. to watch her grow into a young child, the yes even the teenage year then to a young adult. To get to help her prepare for her wedding and to travel down our own memory lane. What a blessing that will be! Not only is this a new beginning for  the happy couple but a new beginning for me as well. The day dreams of being a mother for the first time, all the unknown. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit scared, but aren't all new mothers? I just praise God that I have the love and support of so many amazing people! God just keeps putting people in my life that encourages me, cheers me on on the days I begin to doubt.
     I look forward to each new adventure God has in store for me while on this journey and all the new beginnings in the future!! Thanks you Jesus!!!
 
    

"Children Of God" - Official Music Video

Blessings...........

  The more I learn about the adoption process as I go and the more I learn about me the more I see that I am not thankful enough for the blessing in my life. God has and is so good to me, that sometimes I think I am unworthy. But thankful beyond measure that He is blessing me the way He is.
 I don't want people to think that this has been easy or that there has been no moments of " Lord what am I thinking?" Satan tries to tear down what God has been giving me by placing doubt in my mind that I, as a single woman, can do this on my own. On the days that I need strength to hold my head up and say "God has got this!" I think of some of my favorite Bible stories, one is the woman at the well. She thought that she was unlovable but Jesus  not only told her of a great love but He showed her the greatest love of all. The love of God, one that has always and always will heal the broken heart, give strength to the weak, voice to the mute and sound to the deaf. To me this story has taught me that no matter what my past, all is forgiven by Him, never to be brought up again, that His love in enough! The second is in Matthew Ch 9, when the man came to Jesus because his daughter had died. Jesus went to the woman looked at her and said in verse 22, "Take heart, daughter. Your faith has healed you"and the woman was healed from that moment ." I am healed, I'm not perfect but I am healed. Healed from my sins, my weakness, my pride and all my hurts. Does this mean I will never have pain or disappointments again, No. It means that no matter what the future holds that I can always trust in His love and that all wounds will be healed by my Lord and savior. This adoption in the healing that I have longed for for many years. I wanted a child from the time I knew what being a mother meant. I had dreamed of having a daughter, all that I would do with her, how I would love her and teach her and watch her grow. Then years passed by and I thought that my desire was not what God's desire was for me. He had placed many wonderful children in my life over the years, I mean how many people say they have hundreds of kids??? I have always referred to the youth groups I have worked with over the years as "my kids" and friends of my niece that would come to the house that I have watched grow up as "my kids" so see I am a mother right? But the hole was still in my heart. So was my desire trying to rise above what God wanted for me? If God's will was not for me to be a mother He would and could take this desire from me if I just prayed hard enough! I just know He can and will, all I have to do is ask. Well I did over and over but the desire was still there. It wasn't until the past few months that I know see that He does want to give me my hearts desire and that He is providing that way now. I just have to keep Him in the center of my life, the center of my adoption, and the center of EVERYTHING! He promises in Mark 11:24 Whatever you ask for in prayer, Believe that you have received it and it WILL be yours!!! So I am claiming that my daughter, Rama Grace is coming and that the moment she is laid in my arms I will give her back to God, she is His, not mine. He is only trusting me to guide her while she is here on Earth. Without Him I would not be where I am in the adoption process or in life in general.Please keep praying for us both that God will give us strength to endure the journey to find each other and for our safety until we are together in our forever family!!!

Items to be sold

As I said in my first post, I am working on items to sell to help fund the adoption, I hope to have pictures and info on the items with in a couple of weeks. In the mean time if anyone would like to make a donation you can email me at grblpn@yahoo.com please put donation in the subject matter along with your contact info (email or phone number) and I will give you the instructions on how to do so and to give you a receipt for tax deduction. Thanks again for your prayers and support! 

June 21,2011

 This is my first ever blog, so bare with me as a learn what it is that I am doing. The purpose of this blog is 1) to help keep family and friends updated on my adoption process and 2) help raise money to bring Rama Grace home sooner!!
  At this point I have completed my home study, found an agency that I love, and have a possible match for a baby girl due around the middle of Oct. 2011. I know this may not seem like a lot to some people but to me and other adoptive families that I know all this has happened extremely fast! I first have to give praise to God for making all of this possible, without Him none of this would have even happened!
 About 4 months ago a couple I know got a call that they had been matched with a baby and they were leaving in a few days to go pick her up. I knew the struggles they had trying to adopt but for some reason when I heard this news my heart broke and I felt so much envy! I tried to hide my emotions from everyone but I am sure I failed. I prayed day and night for God to take the feelings I was having away but He didn't they kept getting worse as the days went by. Then I found out that they were on the way to pick up their brand new baby girl! I couldn't even read the facebook posts or the church emails updating everyone on how happy they all were, how beautiful she is or even look at pictures. Then one night I reached out to my brother, my pastor. I had such guilt about the envy I was feeling I had to talk to someone. As I was pouring my heart out to my pastor it became clear that God had been preparing me for me to adopt a daughter of my very OWN!!!!
  For months before I thought God had been preparing me for another mission trip, which I was fighting against or that he was preparing me for a relationship. Neither  was something I wanted! I had been on a medical mission trip in 2010, grateful for the experience but not wanting to go again. I am divorced and have been for several years and have been quite happy being single so the thought of a new relationship was NOT something I had been praying for either! ( come to find out several other people had been praying that FOR me)
 On the day God revealed to me that His plan was to give me my dream, of making me a mother, I felt as if the entire world was lifted off my shoulders! God told me plainly "You have a daughter, her name is Grace,because by my grace you will have her" So how do you argue with that? Ok so where do I start? God had placed several adoptive families in my life so I began talking to them asking them to help me pray and to help guide me in what needs to be done.
 My family and friends have amazed me with all the prayers and support they give so freely to me and to Rama Grace. I truly have the best family and friends that anyone could ask for!!
 In the near future I will have some fundraising items for sale on here along with information on how and where you can make a donation if you feel lead to do so. I look forward to blogging and hearing from all of you and making new friends! John 11:40