This is my journey to find my forever daughter, Rama Grace. I had prayed for children for as long as I can remember, then one day 3 months ago God began to fill my hearts desire, ADOPTION! Who would have thought a single 40 year old female could adopt a child? GOD that is who!
My Family
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Could this be??????
The past few weeks have been hard, started with my injury at work, I've been off work for the past 6 weeks and during that time my aunt has been very ill. She lost her battle yesterday and tomorrow is the anniversary of my grandmothers death, 22 years. Today as I am thinking of all that is going on my phone rings, it is my adoption agency! They wanted to know if it was ok for them to show my profile to birth parents of a baby girl that was born 10/10/11. So know it is another waiting game. So in the mist of the sadness, a ray of sunshine maybe trying to shine it's light upon me. I am trying very hard to remain calm, not get my hopes up, to stay grounded so to speak. I have an awesome group of friends and family praying not only for me but for the baby and for the birth parents. As hard as it is for me to sit and wait it is worse for the birth parents. I can't begin to imagine what it is they are going thru right now.Dear Father in Heaven, my prayer is for the peace of mind, heart and soul for the birth parents of this baby. May they feel Your loving arms around them, may they know peace like they have never felt before. Lord give them the guidance they need to make the choice they have facing them. Lord keep your arms around that baby girl who's future only You know at this time. I want to thank you Father for my blessings to come, be it now or in days to come. You are in total control of everything. These things I ask in your most holy name, Amen.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
too long
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Praising God!!
Only moments after my last post, God has blessed me with 3 or 4 fundraisers, a dozen or so people ordering Tee shirts etc, See that is what FAITH can do!!!
Faith of a Mustard seed
It has been a long time since I have blogged.I must confess that since my "run in" with the lady at work my flesh has risen up in me and I have not had the faith that God has called me to have in Him or in my self. For that I have ask for forgiveness, pulled my self out of my little (or big) pitty party that I have been having.
I have been praying for a freshness with my adoption but being the human that I am I've not been a patient Christian. Lord forgive me for my faults and my flesh!
Tonight God give me the freshness I had been searching for. Thank you Lord for placing the people in my life that I need just when I need them!! I trust in Jesus my blessed redeemer!! I started looking at what the Bible tells us about Faith and within just a few seconds God gave me the following:
2 Chronicles 20:20 Jehoshaphat stood and said " Listen to me Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in His prophets and you will be successful"
We are told in Isaiah 7:9 "if you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all" Wow so few words but such a powerful meaning!
Then in the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:7-8 Jesus tells us " Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened" then again in Matthew 15:28 Jesus answered "Woman you have great faith! Your request has been granted" then he daughter was healed from that very hour.
How can I or anyone who reads just these few verses in the Bible doubt? Yes we are but human but we are made in His image! We all have a choice to either believe in Him or not to believe in His word and works or not. For me it is an easy choice, even tho I don't always make it easy, I chose to follow my Jesus. He has never left my side, even tho I have strayed from Him at times in life. I know He has Rama Grace in His arms just waiting for the perfect time to give her to me. Lord forgive me for my short comings, I know that you have blessed me with the honor of raising Your daughter here on earth and when it is time in Your time I will have her in my arms. Lord I want to thank you for the money you are going to provide for me to help bring her home. Thank you for loving me even when I am not loveable, thank you for all that you have done, are doing and are going to do. I trust you Lord Jesus help me have the patients to just be, to be still and just be what you want me to be when you want me to be. I love you JESUS!!!
I have been praying for a freshness with my adoption but being the human that I am I've not been a patient Christian. Lord forgive me for my faults and my flesh!
Tonight God give me the freshness I had been searching for. Thank you Lord for placing the people in my life that I need just when I need them!! I trust in Jesus my blessed redeemer!! I started looking at what the Bible tells us about Faith and within just a few seconds God gave me the following:
2 Chronicles 20:20 Jehoshaphat stood and said " Listen to me Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in His prophets and you will be successful"
We are told in Isaiah 7:9 "if you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all" Wow so few words but such a powerful meaning!
Then in the words of Jesus in Matthew 7:7-8 Jesus tells us " Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened" then again in Matthew 15:28 Jesus answered "Woman you have great faith! Your request has been granted" then he daughter was healed from that very hour.
How can I or anyone who reads just these few verses in the Bible doubt? Yes we are but human but we are made in His image! We all have a choice to either believe in Him or not to believe in His word and works or not. For me it is an easy choice, even tho I don't always make it easy, I chose to follow my Jesus. He has never left my side, even tho I have strayed from Him at times in life. I know He has Rama Grace in His arms just waiting for the perfect time to give her to me. Lord forgive me for my short comings, I know that you have blessed me with the honor of raising Your daughter here on earth and when it is time in Your time I will have her in my arms. Lord I want to thank you for the money you are going to provide for me to help bring her home. Thank you for loving me even when I am not loveable, thank you for all that you have done, are doing and are going to do. I trust you Lord Jesus help me have the patients to just be, to be still and just be what you want me to be when you want me to be. I love you JESUS!!!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Rollar Coaster ride part 2
Today without a doubt has been the hardest day I have had in my journey. I think I have heard the cruelest words out of another persons mouth that could be spoken. I thank God I was in a position that He kept His hand over my mouth! Today also made me question why things happen the way they do. Why is it someone who is strung out on drugs is carrying her 4th child, that she doesn't want and refers to her child as "that thing" or 'that beast in my belly" and still hasn't turned 30 blessed with the gift of life? When she turned to me and ask where she "could get rid of it" I tried to comfort her while she lay there crying, yelling and cussing. I told her not to make fast decisions that she should consider all options. She then turned to me and stated " I can't carry it and give it to some stupid b**** that can't have kids!" at that point I wanted to forget that I am a Christian and say and do things to that woman !! But as always God was and is in control. I know that there is a reason I had to go through this today and maybe one day I will understand why. But for now all I can do is as for forgiveness for the thoughts I had about that woman, and to pray for her and her unborn child and for the children she has at home. I pray that no adoptive mother ever has to hear such vile and evil words spoken to her. Tomorrow will be better!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Rollor Coaster rides............
As many of you know, I thought that I had found my forever daughter, on Thursday I found out that no. that was not my daughter. But God's grace has yet again covered me! I can't say I wasn't hurt or disappointed, I was. God's love and peace swept over me like never before. Thank God I wasn't alone, I happen to be at my parents house for a surprise dinner for my aunts birthday. He has such a loving way of protecting us. Have I give up or am I rethinking His promise to me? NO!! He told me that I have a daughter and when it is time for me to meet her then He will provide the way. I am but flesh and have my weak moments but when I am weak He is strong.
My adoption verse is John11:40 " If you believe, you will see the glory of God" but if you read the entire chapter it talks about Lazarus raising from the dead. Jesus shows us that what we thought of as dead He can give life too. I had long ago thought that the thought of me being a mother was dead, but Jesus breathed life into me and reminded me of His promise to give us our hearts desire. The Bible also tells us that "we have not because we ask not" and yes we ask and if we don't get our answer right then we think that God has not heard our prayer or that it is not His will, but in John 4 when Jesus heals the son of an official it didn't happen all at once, it took time for the mans son to get well. We just have to believe. Again it is faith that carries us. Without faith what do we have? The lies of satan? The nay sayers of the world?Where will that get us? No where! So many times we miss our blessings on our way to our miracles! (thanks 4R for that word) So many of us miss the blessings ( I know I have done that) when we look to the side or behind us instead of keeping our eye on the prize, all that Jesus wants us to have. If we just believe in what He tells us and trust in Him then everything will fall in place in His time not ours. God knows what is best for us WHEN it is best for us. Just because WE think it is best for our prayers to be answered NOW, God is in control! I have said more than once thru the years that " I don't want to be 40 and starting my family" and I sure didn't think I would be doing alone but God had other plans. Here I am only a few months from 40 and I'm single and look where God has brought me too, not to mention where He has brought me FROM! Is this going to be easy? NO! Is it going to be without disappointment? NO! But you have to go thru some tests to get a testimony(again thanks 4R!) and go thru a mess to get a message but OH what a sweet sweet reward is waiting on us all!!!! Love and blessings to all!!!
My adoption verse is John11:40 " If you believe, you will see the glory of God" but if you read the entire chapter it talks about Lazarus raising from the dead. Jesus shows us that what we thought of as dead He can give life too. I had long ago thought that the thought of me being a mother was dead, but Jesus breathed life into me and reminded me of His promise to give us our hearts desire. The Bible also tells us that "we have not because we ask not" and yes we ask and if we don't get our answer right then we think that God has not heard our prayer or that it is not His will, but in John 4 when Jesus heals the son of an official it didn't happen all at once, it took time for the mans son to get well. We just have to believe. Again it is faith that carries us. Without faith what do we have? The lies of satan? The nay sayers of the world?Where will that get us? No where! So many times we miss our blessings on our way to our miracles! (thanks 4R for that word) So many of us miss the blessings ( I know I have done that) when we look to the side or behind us instead of keeping our eye on the prize, all that Jesus wants us to have. If we just believe in what He tells us and trust in Him then everything will fall in place in His time not ours. God knows what is best for us WHEN it is best for us. Just because WE think it is best for our prayers to be answered NOW, God is in control! I have said more than once thru the years that " I don't want to be 40 and starting my family" and I sure didn't think I would be doing alone but God had other plans. Here I am only a few months from 40 and I'm single and look where God has brought me too, not to mention where He has brought me FROM! Is this going to be easy? NO! Is it going to be without disappointment? NO! But you have to go thru some tests to get a testimony(again thanks 4R!) and go thru a mess to get a message but OH what a sweet sweet reward is waiting on us all!!!! Love and blessings to all!!!
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